Baby Glutton the breastfeeding doll. A ‘sucky’ idea?

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Because you shouldn’t have to wait until you have breasts before you start breastfeeding your baby.

Baby Glutton the breastfeeding doll. A ‘sucky’ idea?

by Eric Ruhalter

For the child who has everything… A Breastfeeding Doll?!?!? Spanish toymaker Berjuan is proud to present (against their better judgment, I hope) Bebe Gloton, the first-ever breastfeeding doll. First-ever! I bet that’s true. Because it’s a bad idea. If I invented the combination Baby-Changing Table/Table Saw it would be the “first-ever.” But that doesn’t make it a good idea. I could easily be the first to market the “Shotgun-Rattle,” too. Or the “Rooftop car seat.” Am I digressing? I always do that!

The purpose of Bebe Gloton (Spanish for, roughly, “Gluttonous Baby”,) allegedly, to promote breastfeeding. Reaching children early with the idea that breastfeeding is natural. However, of course it’s natural!!! I don’t think any mom (pre-teen or otherwise) is contesting the fact that breastfeeding is healthy and natural. I think it’s the clogged ducts and the cracked nipples that put them off.

I’m all for breastfeeding. But, as a man, I’m quite certain no one cares what I think about it. My very courageous and unselfish wife breast fed our children for over a year apiece (including a set of twins.) I think it was great, and they grew strong and healthy, without costing us a nickel on baby formula.

To “play” with this toy, the young girl (or boy I suppose?) puts on a halter/bra type vestment and Bebe Gloton suckles on it around the nipple area. Weird. And I’m not sure that as elementary-school-aged children we need to be plugging anything too specific in terms of baby rearing. Especially right before they hit puberty and we start beating it into their heads that it’d better be a loooooong time before they get pregnant. Let’s find a way to market the notion of breastfeeding to people who are approaching that stage in their life. I’d like to think that there’s a less creepy way to instill the notion of breastfeeding in the minds of children if that’s really something that it’s necessary to do.

What’s next? Bebe Sot – The doll who has a problem with a different kind of bottle, and loses his family, job and feelings of self worth? ? Bebe Limp – The male doll who experiences erectile dysfunction? Bebe Cell Mate – A weak unimposing doll that experiences all the indignation and humiliation of life in prison. Toy themes should be age appropriate. I think so anyway.

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